


Crumbling Apart

by ItsYa1UPBoy



Series: The Crow Calls (Oneshots) [6]
Category: Etrian Odyssey IV: Legends of the Titan, Etrian Odyssey Series
Genre: "but miles" you say "isn't this an etrian odyssey fanfic?", Alcoholism mention, Angst, Gen, Suicide mention, also there is some profanity in the author's note at the end. fair warning., i also feel some content/trigger warnings are in order, i know the other two parts are also tagged as angst but this is SEVERE angst, i'm warning you BEFORE you enter, so i make up for it with character delving and severe angst, yeah so? i suck at writing battle scenes, yep this plot revolves around the busted psyche of a suicidal alcoholic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 01:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15037763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsYa1UPBoy/pseuds/ItsYa1UPBoy
Summary: Yggdrasil has crumbled, and many in Tharsis have lost all hope. Even those in Guild Muninn have begun to lose hope that they can stop Baldur’s mad ambitions...and one member is looking into finding a replacement.





	Crumbling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: So, I wouldn’t go as far to say that it’s attempted, but suicide is discussed quite heavily here. If you’re uncomfortable with a plot surrounding a character’s suicidal urges, then you shouldn’t read this. I mentioned it in the tags, but I'll mention it again for those who don't read them. Alcoholism is also discussed here...

Guild Muninn stood in front of the Outland Count’s desk solemnly, all looking down either at their hands or at the floor.

"Ah, you're here…” the Outland Count said quietly, staring out the window behind his desk. 

“Your Grace, we tried our…” Marianne whispered before choking back a quiet sob. “...Our damned best.”

“Yes, I understand,” the Count replied, stroking Margherita softly in his lap. “To think such a tragedy could befall Yggdrasil… I'm sorry, I can't think of anything to say. The words won't come... Go on and report your mission results."

The room was deadly silent as Marianne took her report out of her bag and laid it on the Count’s desk. The Count turned to his desk and gently sat Margherita on top of it. He took the report, unfurled it, and began reading it carefully.

Not even the sound of metal boots out in the hallway brought the guild members out of their haze as they awaited the Count’s review.

Finally, after several agonizing minutes, the Count looked back up at Marianne.

"I see... It is safe to assume that the Imperial Prince has reached Yggdrasil by now.”

“W-we’re so sorry, Your Grace… We-we’ve failed you…” 

“No, no, you are not to blame. If you could not stop him, I am at a loss to think of who could."

The Count shook his head sadly and put the parchment in his desk drawer.

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

Everyone gasped and turned to the door.

“Your Grace, if I may?”

The Count frowned, but said, “You may.”

As the door slowly creaked open, he turned to Marianne. “I assume that this is your doing?”

“Not quite, Your Grace… Havardr was the one who extended mercy first. But Logre aided us in our attempt to stop Prince Baldur…”

Marianne turned to the Imperial entering the room and flashed a weak smile. Logre nodded back to her and approached the Count’s desk. He bowed solemnly.

“I apologize for my impudence…” he began, addressing the Count’s miffed expression. “However… I do know the basic details of what His Imperial Highness plans on doing.

"Yggdrasil isn't fully active yet. What you saw was only the final preparation of the Titan's Soul. He must integrate her into the tree.

“Yggdrasil withered because the heart was inserted. That is why its power began to gather in the roots. But so long as the Medium is not integrated, we still have hope."

“I see…” the Count mused. “So what you’re saying is that if we can rescue the Medium before Prince Baldur integrates her, then we can stop him? Can we retrieve the heart from Yggdrasil as well, in that case?”

“Yes, milord,” Logre answered. “It will take some effort to remove it, and those who do so run the risk of contracting the Titan’s Curse. However, once we have both the heart and the soul in hand, it will be fairly easy to heal anyone with the Titan’s Curse. And if the heart is removed, then Yggdrasil should slowly begin to grow again…”

The Count nodded. “Then I must send soldiers to gather more information,” he said resolutely, a new fire burning in his eyes. “Thank you for your report, Marianne. Whenever you’re ready, your guild is dismissed.”

And with that, the Count got up and left the room. All six explorers watched him leave with varying expressions of worry or sorrow. When he was gone, they all looked at each other anxiously.

“If I may…”

Everyone looked at Logre in surprise as he removed his gauntlet and fished out a large key from his sleeve. He held it out to Marianne, and when she took it, he put his gauntlet back on.

“That is a key for activating Drive Blades,” he explained calmly. “Let it be my vow to you: few though we are, some Imperial knights still agree with Havardr and I. If you will have us, then our Drive Blades will aid you in your search.”

“U-us…?” Havardr whispered.

A small smile flickered across Logre’s face. “Yes… If you would have me in your guild, then I would also be glad to aid you, should you need my services. You needn’t file the official paperwork right away, of course…”

Havardr smiled brightly and looked expectantly at Marianne.

“We need all the help we can get right now,” the Fortress said. “We would be glad to have you. And I will file your paperwork as soon as possible… It’ll simply be a matter of accessing your files at the Explorer’s Guild.

Mia grumbled something unintelligible under her breath, and Lis looked down at her and patted her head.

“Actually, perhaps I should go and do that now, before we head out to stop the prince. We don’t know how long we’ll be out in the field for…”

Marianne looked around her at the party.

“Go do what you need to do while I take care of Logre’s paperwork, and when I have some basic ideas formulated for our excursions forward, I’ll call everyone down for a meeting.”

Marianne stared pointedly at Havardr.

“In fact, _you_ look exhausted, Havardr. You should go rest up before our meeting. I know you haven’t been getting much sleep lately…”

Havardr nodded wearily and pushed off of the desk from where he’d been leaning on it for support. “I was going to get some sleeping pills first…” he said. “I thought maybe they’d help. I need all the sleep I can get before we pursue Baldur.”

Miku raised an eyebrow. “That will turn a short nap into a full night’s sleep,” she warned.

“I know… If you can’t wake me up, just fill me in tomorrow morning...” the blonde man replied drowsily. He stretched and yawned before sauntering out of the room.

Miku glanced at Marianne with a concerned look. Marianne looked back at her with the same worried expression.

“Why didn’t he ever take those before? He’s always had night terrors,” Miku asked her. Though it wasn’t so much a question as a message.

“M-maybe he’s just so tired that he’s desperate for _any_ sleep…” Marianne replied with a nervous chuckle and a shaky grin. “B-besides, his night terrors seem a lot worse...a-and more frequent…”

\-----

“Oh, Havardr?”

“Miku…!”

As Havardr reached for the door to the Saehrimnir Inn, he heard the Vessel’s familiar voice and looked up. She had several bags in her arms, most likely ingredients to make medicine with. Though the Berund Atelier sold basic medicines, Miku often preferred to make her own.

Havardr smiled weakly at her and held the door open for her. She stepped inside, and he came in after her and shut the door behind them.

“I met Marianne on the street, and she said she’d be in shortly,” Miku said, adjusting her bags in her arms.

“I’ll try to get a little shut-eye, then,” Havardr replied with a nod, flashing a small bottle of medicine.

“Are you sure…? Marianne’s ‘shortly’ is more like a sliver of time,” Miku said worriedly.

Havardr chuckled. “It’s quite alright, Miku. You guys can fill me in in the morning. I mean, the others are already here…”

He gestured over to one of the sitting areas by a large fireplace on the wall. Though it wasn’t quite cold enough for a fire yet, it was still a good meeting spot, and Logre, Mia, and Lis were all sitting on the armchairs and couch over there; in fact, someone had already brought over a couple more armchairs for whoever arrived last.

“Do you need any help getting your things into your room?” Havardr asked. Miku shook her head.

“I’m quite alright, thank you. I just can’t get that large door with my hands full.”

With that, the two began heading to the second floor in silence. As he passed by the guild, Havardr waved, but they seemed deep in discussion, and didn’t notice him.  
As the two headed up the stairs, Miku heard an odd clinking and looked down to see where it was coming from.

Havardr’s bag was rattling as he ascended the stairs; although he was holding it close, it still shook as he took each step.

Miku frowned. She had heard that clinking many times… It could only be the sound of glass bottles tapping against each other. And there was usually only one thing that Havardr had in glass bottles…

They really needed to hold that intervention sooner rather than later.

Once they had reached the top of the stairs and were headed down the hall to their rooms, Havardr turned to Miku and smiled. “I’m honestly so glad that we didn’t have to kill Logre…” he said with a sigh of relief. “I’m not sure what I would do if I had that blood on my hands.”

Miku nodded. “Yes, I can’t fathom it either… As a healer, I protect people; I don’t kill them unless they need me to end their suffering.”

“Oh, here we are.”

Havardr turned to Miku and waved as he opened the door to his room. Miku shifted her bags in her arms, went to her door, and opened it slowly.

She walked over to her desk and poured her bags out of her arms onto it. She leaned against the large, wooden desk and sighed heavily, going over the facts in her head.

A short pause.

Her eyes widened.

“Oh _gods_.”

She raced out of her room, slamming the door behind her. She cursed under her breath and the resounding slam that made the hallways shudder, but didn’t stop going. She ran down the hall and nimbly descended the stairs, praying to Yggdrasil that Marianne would be down there.

And it was just her luck that Marianne was sitting down with the rest of the guild just as her feet hit the bottom step.

“Ms. Marianne!”

Miku stumbled as she bounded onto the floor and ran over to where her guildmates were sitting. They all stared at her in shock.

“M-Miku?” Marianne stammered. “Wh-why are you running? And where’s Havardr? Is he not---”

“Th-that’s just...it,” Miku wheezed, doubled over, leaning on her knees. “I th-think he… I think he…”

She leaned against an armchair to catch her breath.

“We need to get up there right away,” she said sternly. “He… He showed me his sleeping pills, but...but he… I h-heard bottles in his bag, too. P-probably...alcohol?”

Lis, Marianne, and Logre looked at each other with horrified expressions.

And in a flash, they were all out of their seats and racing to the stairs. Marianne’s armchair fell over and hit the stone edge of the fireplace hard.

“Stay down here, Mia, no matter what,” Marianne ordered. Mia nodded.

“Wh-what’s wrong?” she asked nervously.

“Just _stay here_.”

“O-okay…”

Miku followed the other three to the stairs, but when she reached the bottom, she had an epiphany. 

“Wait!” she called out.

The others turned to her.

“If we all go up there at once…we may scare him. One person should go see him first, and see if it’s even what I think it is. If they need help, they can call for the others…”

“That’s a good idea… But who should go?” Marianne mused.

Marianne, Lis, and Miku all looked up at Logre expectantly. The silver-haired Imperial nodded resolutely.

“Perhaps that would be for the best,” he said. “He’ll probably respond to me the best… Simply because I am more intimately acquainted with some of his issues.”

“Honestly, we just want you to go because he adores you,” Lis replied. “It’s pretty plain to see.”

Logre blushed and looked up the staircase.

“Go on, hurry!” Marianne urged, waving her hands up the stairs. “There’s no time to waste!”

Logre began to ascend the stairs as quickly as he could. “Room 214!” Marianne called after him. Logre gave the woman a thumbs-up as he continued up the stairs.

As he hurried down the hall, Logre glanced from side to side at the room numbers.

“212...213…”

He reached Room 214 and stopped in front of the door. Somehow, his heart was pounding harder than most other times in his life. When facing a foe in battle, or coming across a vicious monster in the labyrinth, he was the ideal soldier- cool, calm, and collected. But this… This was a different sort of battle, one that he didn’t have as much experience with.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and softly knocked on Havardr’s door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Logre.”

“Didn’t I tell Marianne that I was heading in early? Or did I imagine it?”

“...No, you didn’t imagine it. I just… You’ve seem distant since we got back, and I...wanted to check in on you.”

Havardr chuckled.

“I’m not used to this side of you, Logre. I’m more used to the stern commander...or the mischievous wanderer… One moment.”

Logre heard clinking and rattling from inside Havardr’s room. A drawer opened and closed. Footsteps. The chain lock on the door rattled, and the door opened partway.

Havardr had a tired smile and droopy eyes. “You’re lucky you caught me before I took the sleeping pills,” he said lazily. “Do you want to come in, or…?”

Logre nodded. Havardr stepped back and opened the door all the way to let the other man in. Once Logre was inside, Havardr closed the door behind them, but left it unlocked, and Logre looked around carefully yet seemingly nonchalantly.

Havardr’s room was rather minimalist. He didn’t seem to have any personal belongings beyond a few books on the shelf by the window; all of the furniture was from the inn. On the desk, there was a glass with a napkin over it; only the very bottom peeked out, revealing some sort of cloudy liquid. The desk drawer wasn’t closed all the way, but it refused to reveal its contents. Underneath the desk, though, Logre could see the top of a bottle peeking out behind the chair…

Havardr walked across the room and brought back two chairs that had been sitting in the corner by the window. He put them across from each other and gestured for Logre to sit down. Logre did so cautiously, choosing the one that faced the door- and the desk. As Havardr sat across from him, he peeked underneath the desk again.

As he had thought. Two bottles of alcohol.

“What is it you’d wanted to discuss?” Havardr asked with a shy smile. Logre sighed.

“Well… I remember that Marianne and Miku had mentioned that you have night terrors… What are they about…?”

Havardr’s smile turned tense, his lips drawn thin. “It’s...nothing to worry yourself about. I don’t want to bother you.”

“It’s not a bother. At all. I imagine I know what it’s about, actually… You’ve never been good at keeping things bottled up; you always blow eventually. And it’s easy to tell when you’re hiding things.”

Havardr glanced down at the floor in shame.

“I can still see the flames… Sometimes, it bothers me more than others… Most days I can ignore it, but… The Sacred Mountains… That’s where it started becoming overwhelming… All of the snow, the blizzards, the Blizzard King soaring in the sky… And then I…”

Havardr gripped his knees and choked back a sob as tears started to form in his eyes.

“I-I couldn’t...fly the skyship anymore… I had to stay below deck… We’re lucky that nobody died… I… I… If they had died I wouldn’t have…”

Logre gently put his hand on Havardr’s and squeezed it sympathetically.

“I s-s-saw the emperor’s grave… I saw _you_ , Logre… And y-you... _remembered_ me.” 

Havardr looked back up at Logre, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks now.

“I’m not important enough….t-t-to remember… _Why_?”

Logre seemed shocked at that statement.

“Of _course_ you’re important to me, Havardr. Why wouldn’t you be? I was once your commander, now your comrade; you showed me mercy when no one else would. It’s still a new feeling, to be on equal footing with you, but I enjoy it. Even now, with all that’s happening around us. I desperately wanted to say something before...but you were never alone.”

Havardr flew out of his shoulder and hugged Logre tightly, wailing into his shoulder.

“Please… Please… Oh gods, please…” Havardr sobbed.

“Wh-what? What do you need?” Logre asked cautiously, wrapping his arms around Havardr and patting his back.

Havardr continued crying, sinking into Logre’s lap. Logre’s face flushed a deep red, but he kept his composure. Havardr gripped Logre’s shoulders tightly and stared down at his lap.

“I’m so sorry… I’ve ruined everything… My chance to go home, your chance to return home… I’ll be the cause of the Empire’s demise…”

He nervously rubbed his hands on Logre’s thighs, making the man blush even harder.

“I’m just a nuisance, aren’t I…? My guild sure seems to think so… And I’m sure you despise me, deep down, for ruining your life…”

“Are you _daft_?”

Havardr looked up in shock. Logre had a vaguely pissed expression.

“You shouldn’t say something so foolish,” Logre said sternly. “Your guild _always_ seems worried about you. I noticed it when Miku checked on you in the Echoing Library. Even Marianne and Lis seemed worried that you were getting sick again…

“And I know you were barely conscious at that point, but when I carried you out of the Sentinel cemetery, and Marianne saw you in my arms, she flew into a frenzy, gathering everyone up and apologizing to Kibagami for leaving… She took you straight to the hospital, she told me, and checked in every day to ask the doctors how your condition was.

“And how could I _hate_ you? You’re the one who brought me to my senses. I’ll admit, I haven’t been in the best mindset since I arrived back in the Empire… My grief came back as fresh as the day Emperor Alfodr died in my arms. I fought for what I thought I should do… I struggled to reintegrate… But in the end...too much has changed. That place will never be my home again. You showed me...that I have comrades in Tharsis, a _home_ in Tharsis, and for that I will _always_ be grateful.”

Logre grabbed Havardr by his tear-streaked cheeks and stared at him eye-to-eye.

“So whatever it is you’re planning to do… Please don’t do it. _Please_ , Havardr,” he begged. Havardr looked at him with wild, frantic eyes, a mixture of fear, shame, and hopelessness.

“...What’s the point, Logre?” the blonde man whispered desperately. “What’s the point in going on when every day is a struggle? I see no point… I see no purpose… There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me…”

He rested his forehead on Logre’s and sighed wearily.

“I just want to sleep…”

Logre’s eyes widened in horror as Havardr stood up calmly.

“These past ten years, I’ve been fueled by nothing but the primal, animalistic desire, deep down in the depths of the brain, that tells you that you’re required to keep going. Sure, when I joined Guild Muninn, there was a spark of hope that I might finally get to go home… But I’m still deadened. What little emotion I do feel is more gray than color. Each day is a numb gray and I’m only kept going by a biological obligation.”

Havardr looked at Logre with dead eyes- a deadness not from intoxication, but from the depths of his soul.

“Is that how you’ve felt too, all this time?” he asked with a crack of desperation.

“I… I was certainly depressed… But it wasn’t at that level. I-I grieved for my fallen comrades and my fallen king… But I had a goal to fulfill and that was what kept me going. So I never...fell into such a pit of despair.”

Logre balled his hands into fists and stared angrily at his lap. “I want to help you,” he said resolutely. “If you want it…”

“There is no helping me, Logre.”

Havardr sat on his bed with a defeated smile, that signature weak smugness that comes from knowing you’re beyond saving. He glanced over at the gray-haired man.  
“It’s alright… I’ve known it for a long time. And I thank you for joining the guild… They’ll be needing your services soon, I imagine.”

Logre stood up in his chair. “If that’s what you believe, then I can’t say anything else,” he said calmly.

He walked towards the door, but as he approached it, he turned to the left. Havardr glanced behind him when he heard the footsteps stop.

Logre pulled the chair out from the desk and crouched down on the floor. Havardr’s face paled in horror as Logre stood back up, two alarmingly large bottles of alcohol in his hand, one of which was partially empty. He simply stared at the bottles sadly and sat them on the desk.

He opened the drawer, and Havardr began shaking. He pulled a small bottle of medication out of the drawer, slowly read the label, glanced back at Havardr, and sat it on the desk beside the alcohol. As he went to close the drawer, however, something else caught his eye.

He began pulling out envelopes.

One, two, three, four, five.

Each one addressed to a different member of the guild.

He laid them out on the desk, one by one, and closed the desk drawer.

Logre removed the napkin that was covering the glass on the desk.

A clear liquid, clouded white. Logre could see now that the desk didn’t have a spot of dust, but that something white had been crushed on it.

He glanced back at the bottle of white sleeping pills.

He walked over to where Havardr was still sitting on the bed, now with his head buried in his hands in defeat, and calmly placed a hand on the blond’s shaking shoulders.

“I think we need to tell the rest of the guild about this.”

\-----

Logre and Havardr were sitting side by side on the edge of the bed. Lis, Miku, and Marianne were sitting in the three chairs, pulled up across from the bed. Mia was downstairs with Dalla; everyone had agreed that she didn’t need to see this.

“Why didn’t you tell us…?” Marianne whispered hoarsely, staring down at her lap, her hands shaking.

Miku fiddled with her Vessel staff laid across her lap in silence. Lis glared at Havardr. 

“What the hell, Havardr?” the Nightseeker snapped. “You know that we risk our lives for each other. Were you so worried about your reputation that you couldn’t share your burdens with us? Because that’s what comrades do; you said so yourself.”

Havardr covered his face with one hand and looked down in shame. “I’m not a comrade, I’m just a burden… I can tell when I look into your eyes…”

Lis flew up out of his chair angrily; the chair clattered onto the floor as he picked Havardr up from under his arms and got so close to his face that their noses were touching.

“Are you a bloody _idiot_?!” he yelled. “I’m only saying this once, so don’t ask me again! If you were a damn burden we would’ve kicked you out a _long_ time ago! You don’t think we give a _single shit about you_ , you fucking idiot?!”

He threw Havardr back onto the bed in disgust and picked up his chair.

“I…” Marianne began shakily, glancing back at the fuming teenager. “He’s right, Havardr. Just because we’re disappointed in your actions sometimes… It doesn’t mean you’re a burden or a disappointment yourself… Just because you make mistakes doesn’t mean you’re irredeemable…”

“It was all my fault…” Havardr whispered. “I could have saved them, if I’d just had enough adrenaline…!”

“Oh my _God_ , are you still on about that airship crash?!”

“Lis!”

“That was a decade ago, Havardr! Logre doesn’t wallow in _his_ misery!”

“It’s not just _that_ , Lis!”

The others were stunned into silence by Havardr’s sudden outburst.

“It’s not just...that…” he sobbed, wiping away the tears that were pouring fresh down his cheeks. “For ten years I’ve...I’ve been dead inside...numb to the world… D-do you really think I give a shit about my _reputation_? All I give a shit about is something that can make me _feel_ … But then when I finally start to feel again it’s only overwhelming guilt and s-s-sorrow… So then I have to b-bury those feelings or I’ll drown in them… It’s them or me…”

He looked up angrily, still wiping away tears with the palm of his hand.

“S...Sure, I go on about something that happened a decade ago… But that was just the start of something worse. Th-the catalyst...if you will...for a life of death.”

He curled up into a ball on the bed, his feet pressed up against the edge of the mattress, and cried into his knees. Marianne glared at Lis and sat beside Havardr and put a hand on his shoulder. Logre had placed a gentle yet firm hand on Havardr’s head and was running his fingers through Havardr’s pale blonde hair.

“Havardr…” Marianne whispered. “Havardr, look at me… Please…”

Havardr peeked out from beneath his arms at her. Marianne smiled.

“I know you must have felt tortured before, trying to tell us what you were feeling without telling us everything…” she said gently. “You had a duty to keep a secret… And I’m sure that, given what little we know about your past… You may not have had the same motivation as Logre did, while you were biding your time in Tharsis… And I imagine that...that it was hard to keep going when you felt you had nothing to fight for… But you kept fighting and that is _amazing_. It means that you’re strong and capable, and the furthest thing from a burden that I can imagine.”

“You don’t understand, Marianne… I didn’t keep fighting because I _wanted_ to, I only fought because the most primal part of my brain _forced_ me to keep going. No matter how many times I contemplated suicide or planned it out, or stared at the noose or the knife or the bottle… The lizard brain said, ‘No, we have to pass on our genes. We have to keep going until then.’ And I would chicken out. If anything, that shows _fear_ , fear of an entity that is entirely irrational.”

Miku came up and stood in front of Havardr and put her thin hands on his knees. “And what can we do to give you a reason to keep going?” she asked. Havardr let his arms fall to his sides and looked up at her in surprise.

“Right now… I’m going because of obligation. Not just to my lizard brain, but...to the guild. I knew I couldn’t leave you one man down...so if Logre didn’t offer to join Guild Muninn then I was going to get down on my hands and knees and beg him myself.”

Logre’s face turned white as a sheet.

“Then consider yourself obligated to help us stop Baldur,” Miku said calmly.

Lis stood up and put his hands on his hips. “We’ve known you and Logre for about the same amount of time, but we’ve only battled with him for a little while. He couldn’t replace you.” The boy blushed and became quite interested in a nearby lamp.

“If you still don’t feel like that’s a worthy enough cause to fight for…”

Marianne sighed.

“Then consider it an order from me, your boss.”

“And know that your comrades are beside you,” Logre said, squeezing Havardr’s shoulder. “ _All_ of us.”

The others nodded. “All of us,” they said in unison.

Havardr stared at them in complete and utter shock.

“But before we can… Before we can help you…” Marianne began. “There’s something we need to do… We need to help you stop drinking.”

“We’ve wanted to have an intervention for a while,” Miku explained. “Marianne had said that we should wait until we defeat the Boiling Lizard, before we head into the next land. But as you know...we never got that chance.”

“We’re a lot more observant than you think,” Lis scoffed upon seeing Havardr’s shocked expression. “Miku knew you weren’t shaking from dehydration and I knew you weren’t getting sick again. But you can’t exactly say, ‘Hey, I think he’s having withdrawals,’ when the person in question is right beside you.”

Miku lifted Havardr’s face up to meet her own and gave him a stern look. “Havardr, I want you to be completely honest with me,” she said calmly, pushing a twinge of fear back in her throat. “How long had you stopped drinking when we reached Logre in the Echoing Library?”

Havardr looked down, lost in thought, before looking back up at Miku. “The night before… I knew I had to be sober when we faced Logre. Same with when we escorted the Count to his meeting. I knew that I couldn’t lose control…”

“We reached Logre...when, about noon?” Marianne mused. “We checked in at ten P.M. the previous night…”

“That would be fourteen hours, then,” Miku said. “He did seem a bit confused, though hallucinations had not begun yet. However, I do fear that he could progress into _delirium tremens_ should his withdrawals go on long enough. And if he is not treated properly during that time, he could die.”

Miku paused and frowned. The room was deadly silent; not even the sound of breathing could be heard.

“With that in mind… I would recommend checking him into the hospital’s inpatient facilities. They have the proper medicines with which to treat him. And they can handle him if he has seizures or becomes violent due to hallucinations. I can only pray that it does not come to that...that his condition begins to improve after two days…”

“So two days is the point where he can become better or...get whatever that is that you said?” Marianne asked.

“Correct. It is the ‘make-or-break’ point, if you will. And then, once his withdrawals start to ease off, we can help him with his other issues. But until he is no longer using alcohol as a coping mechanism, there is not much that we can do for him.”

Marianne and Logre each grabbed one of Havardr’s arms and lifted him off of the bed.

“We’re going to help you,” Marianne said calmly, putting a hand on Havardr’s lower back.

“Please, let us help you,” Logre pleaded.

Havardr stared down at the ground, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “Is there even any hope for me…?” he mumbled almost silently.

“Hmm?”

Havardr looked up at Logre. “I said… Is there even any hope for me…?”

Logre smiled his familiar, lazy grin. “If there’s hope for a sinner like me, then I think we can help you,” he replied. Havardr chuckled.

“I…”

The Landsknecht’s voice cracked.

“Maybe you can help me… We can at least try…”

The four people surrounding him broke out into relieved grins. Marianne turned to Lis.

“Lis, while the rest of us head to the hospital, you clean up Havardr’s desk… And go downstairs and tell Mia that Havardr is in the hospital…”

Marianne laughed darkly.

“I don’t think she’ll like it, but it looks like Logre’s going to be fighting with us for a while.”

Lis nodded and walked over to the desk as the others headed out the door and into the hall. As the door closed behind them, Lis could have sworn that he saw Havardr grab Logre’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> OH FUCK. OH SHIT. Did Miles do his research? Hell yeah, he did!  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_withdrawal_syndrome#Progression  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delirium_tremens  
> So… Yeah… Uh… This got really heavy… My apologies… I’m not entirely sure what to say, other than, wow, I really delved into Havardr’s issues here.  
> I do want to say... If you're considering suicide... Please, talk to somebody. Even if you don't think that anyone in your life cares, there's bound to be somebody who does.


End file.
